Hounded by the "Mrs."

I'm used to being called "Mrs. Arthur."

Though I never took my husband's surname, every marketer who dials up the phone of "John Arthur" and hears a woman's voice answer, then addresses me as "Mrs. Arthur."

It's a quick way for me to determine that it's a junk call.

"Please take us off your calling list," I answer several times per day.

I recently stopped using my father's surname, given to me at birth, and took a matrilineal surname, Linstatter.

I filed the papers to get a court order to change my name, then got a new driver's license and new Social Security card.  Now I'm calling various insurance and credit card companies to report the new surname.

Yesterday when I called Chase Bank, the conversation went like this:

"Hi, I'm calling to report that my surname has changed.  It's now Linstatter."

"Congratulations!" the man responded.  "What is your account number and your former name?"

After recording the change, he ended the call by saying, "Alright, Mrs. Linstatter.  Have a nice day."

Mrs. Linstatter?

I guess I'll never get rid of the assumption that I carry my husband's surname.

The Name Change Issue

In the 1960s, I never questioned whether women should take their husbands' names in marrying.

In 1970, however, I read a newspaper article about women keeping their birth names, and I decided instantly that I would never change my name to that of a husband.

In 2012 my daughter Ellen married, and she decided to take her husband's surname.  

It seems she hadn't really appreciated the surname Eggebroten that I in my feminist ardor had bestowed on her.  

John had agreed to giving each daughter both his surname and mine: Rosamond Arthur Eggebroten, Ellen A.E., and Marie A.E.  No hyphen.  

But the middle surname got slighted over the years by teachers, schools, and friends.  Ellen was known as Ellen Eggebroten, and she was more than happy to gain a more elegant surname: Michel.

In today's LA Times, another millennial explains her decision to add her husband's surname to her own.  

http://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-alpert-changing-name-20131112,0,7533204.story#axzz2klRVD5MH

Read it.  Each generation, each person has her own reasons for deciding how to represent her identity.

It's all about choice.