Gender & Pronouns

I - we

you - you

he she sie - they

Are you still using the pronouns she and he?  Really?  If so, you're behind the times.

Some people--such as Farhad Manjoo writing "Call Me 'They'" in the New York Times a few days ago--advocate abandoning he and she and using they for everyone, whether referring to one person or twenty.  

This plan goes a step beyond just using they for two purposes:

• for two or more people... and
• for one non-binary person.

Thank you to Letha Dawson Scanzoni for calling this opinion piece to my attention, as well as a follow-up discussion in response in the NYT a few days later.  The follow-up, "I'm with 'They,'" is a compilation of readers' comments.  

Pronouns turn me on, so I read the pieces and followed Manjoo's link to Gretchen McCulloch's "A Linguist on the Story of Gendered Pronouns" published in the daily blog The Toast.  She cites one place in Chaucer with "they" as singular and one in Caxon and one in Shakespeare.  

All three of these uses of they/them/their have a plural meaning in their context:

Whoever finds him blameless, they will come up...  

Each of them should make themselves ready...  and

Everyone salutes me as if I were their friend.

So speaking with that sort of plural meaning (though one part of the sentence is technically singular) was done then as well as now.  Big deal.  I don't care.

It's a huge jump from that to making a decision to give up she and he--to refer to a single person as they in all sentences.

Doing so is especially awkward in situations where there is a group of people, and one might want to distinguish between one person's action or statement and the whole group's action or statement.  

For example, "They didn't like it when they pushed them around" as opposed to "He didn't like it when they pushed him around" or "She didn't like it when they pushed her around" or "They didn't like it when he pushed them around" or "They didn't like it when she pushed them around." 

Using they for singular can be very confusing in situations where you need to refer either to an individual or to the whole group, such as in newspaper reporting, writing minutes, or testifying in court.  Example: "They suggested ordering an hors d'oeuvre, and they agreed" as opposed to "She suggested ordering an hors d'oeuvre, and they agreed."

Here's where you can stop reading if you're not a pronoun geek like me.

I prefer using zie or sie for singular nongender nominative case, zir or hir for singular nongender possessive, and hem for singular nongender objective case.  (In Old and Middle English, hem could be used to mean either him or them.)  

After all, English is a Germanic language and German uses Sie for both the singular feminine nominative case of the second person (in formal address--Du in informal) and for the plural nominative case of the second person, as well as for the singular feminine nominative case of the third person and for the plural nominative case of the third person.  Sie is a very handy word (and sometimes confusing) in German.

In other words:

She threw the ball, He threw the ball, Zie or Sie threw the ball.  

Plural: They threw the ball.

For the direct object:

I hit her, I hit him, I hit hem.   Plural: I hit them.

To show possession:

It is her ball, his ball, hir or zir ball.  Plural: It is their ball.

Advantages of just adding sie, hem, and hir:

1) Only three words need to be added, all referring to nonbinary singular.  Doing this shouldn't be too hard at a time when many in our society are adding nonbinary gender to our thinking.

2) It permits clarity.  For instance, "I slept with her" vs. "I slept with them."

3) It avoids using our only neutral pronoun, it, which we reserve for objects or animals. 

Disadvantages: 

1)  It preserves gender distinctions while speaking or writing and referring to the third person.  Some people want to stop constantly specifying gender.

2) People have to learn three new words.  

To throw gender completely out of our third-person English pronouns would not be helpful.  English already omits gender in I, we, you.  Many languages require gender for you and for objects of all kinds--tables, hands, stars.  

Keeping he and she and adding sie for nonbinary persons does heighten the emphasis on gender in English, but most languages have far more gender distinctions in them than English does. 

Thank you, Letha, for inviting me into this fascinating debate.  Clearly I'm hooked.

And here's a chart for you showing English and German pronouns as they stand now.

Nominative case

I throw the ball. - We throw the ball.  --->Ich werfe den Ball. - Wir werfen den Ball.

You throw the ball. - You all throw the ball.  --->Du wirfst den Ball.-Sie alle werfen den Ball.

He throws the ball.  - They throw the ball.  ---> Er wirft den Ball. - Sie werfen den Ball.

She throws the ball.  --->Sie wirft den Ball.

Direct object

I saw you. - I saw you all.  --->Ich habe dich gesehen.-Ich habe euch alle gesehen.

I saw him. - I saw them.  --->Ich habe ihn gesehen. - Ich habe sie gesehen.           

I saw her.  --->Ich habe sie gesehen.

Indirect object

Give her the ball.  --->Gib ihr den Ball.

Give him the ball. --->Gib ihm den Ball.

Possessive case

It is my ball. - It is our ball.  ---> Es ist mein Ball. - Es ist unser Ball.

It is your ball. - Y'all bought it. It is your ball.  --->Es ist dein Ball. - Sie haben es gekauft. Es ist Ihr Ball.

It is her ball. - It is their ball.  --->Es ist ihr Ball. - Es ist ihr Ball

It is his ball.  --->Es ist sein Ball.