For a horror story of police misresponse to a couple trying to arrange respectful burial of the remains of a miscarriage, read Steve Lopez's column in the Los Angeles Times today, "Grief was just the beginning." http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-lopez11-2009mar11,0,879453.column
Jessica Tebow and Michael Ohlde had been hoping to have a child, but Jessica's first pregnancy ended very early in a miscarriage at her home.
She didn't know what to do with the remains: flush them down the toilet? Or bury them?
She called her doctor, who gave her the options of either bringing them in for a genetic test or calling a mortuary.
Jessica put the little plastic bag in the freezer, and a few days later while he was at work Michael called a mortuary, which demanded a death certificate. Where to get one?
Call the LA County Coroner's Office, the voice on the other end of the line recommended.
Before he knew it, police were speeding to his apartment, breaking in, and ransacking the place.
By the time he and Jessica got there, six police officers were at their door with police cars out in front--a spectacle for the neighbors.
If police response to the remains of a miscarriage could get so out of control in a city and nation where abortion is legal, what could happen if the pro-life forces manage to make abortion illegal again?
Steve Lopez did some research and uncovered the Miscarriage Support Group of Southern California, which advises couples in circumstances like this. www.cayennewellness.com
Some couples ending a pregnancy, either by miscarriage or by legal abortion, choose to hold a private memorial service for the remains, like the couple in Ch. 12 of my pro-choice book, Abortion--My Choice, God's Grace: Christian Women Tell Their Stories (Pasadena: New Paradigm, 1994--also available on Amazon).
2 comments:
Why do you care about miscarriages?
If it's just a "blob of tissue" that is jeopardizing its mother's "health," what's the difference?
You think it's OK to kill it in one breath and then say it's so sad they miscarried in the next.
First law of logic: the principle of identity. Learn it.
Thank you, Mr. Hathaway, for your comment.
If I had a miscarriage, I would not regard it as a "blob of tissue." I would grieve and probably want to dispose of the remains in a way that honored the connection of that person-to-be to the Creator of all life.
Another person might feel very differently.
The couple in Steve Lopez's column very much wanted a baby. They grieved when the pregnancy miscarried, and they felt drawn to handle the remains in some dignified, respectful manner.
I have read the stories of women whose unborn child at later stages of pregnancy dies... resulting in a stillbirth. Couples have been shocked that our legal system often does not grant this very-near-to-term baby the respect of a birth or death certificate. Couples have run into problems arranging a proper burial, as did the couple in Steve Lopez's column.
Yes, the principle of identity is important. Perhaps a lawyer could tell us both what the legal identity is for a child that is stillborn.
The emotional impact to the parents of a stillborn child is very great. The spiritual identity varies from church to church, I believe. Does the Roman Catholic Church usually offer a burial Mass for a child not living at birth?
These issues are very complex.
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