Monday, December 7, 2015

The Father

We think our actions don't have consequences.

Syed Farook, father of Syed Rizwan Farook, was so violent when his children were young that his Muslim wife eventually filed for divorce.

His two sons and daughter had to defend their mother from him.  He moved to Corona and lived quietly there, unaware that the seeds of violence planted in one son were growing.

Now living in Corona, he described his reaction when he first saw this son with a gun: "I became angry. In 45 years in the United States, I yelled, 'I have never had a weapon.' 

He thought that the line he had drawn--violence but without guns--would be observed by his sons.

His anger and yelling confirm the portrait drawn in his wife's divorce documents.

While we are looking for ways to stop mass shootings, we have to start with parents and children, with domestic violence.  

Killers have to be groomed and taught.  

If you are trying to learn ways to be patient with children, to manage your own moments of anger, you are taking steps to prevent killing.

See this excellent book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish:

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